Our Story
We love our customers. We would do fucking anything for our customers. We would die for our customers, as well as kill for them. We can even steal for them, but never FROM them. We love them that much. We will do anything for them. They're awesome, they're like family, they're the shit. Customers are the basis of our existence, and our business lives or dies on whether or not they show up every week. We're grateful they've chosen to spend their hard-earned dollars with us. They want that big juicy fatass secret. They're looking for something that doesn't exist. In a sense, they're looking for the secret to the secret. In a more literal sense, they're looking for the recipe of the secret, or the ingredients to the secret, or a video of the secret being made. They want to know how to be like us. They want to know how to sell the secret, which we've never once sold. We never have, we never would, and we never will sell the secret. We're not in the business of selling our business. They want to learn about this secret, and they're willing to throw money at us in order to get that information. They're willing to be inundated with all kinds of misinformation, fake information, half-truths, and even outright lies in order to get the information they want. We love our customers.
